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Reading List 10b of 2019

October 24, 2019

Covers the period from 9.7.2019 through 10.24.19


I/we own 4 of these items. I watched 9 things in the cinema/via streaming. Baltimore County Public Library system supplied 8 of the DVDs. Libraries outside of Baltimore County, via Inter-Library Loan, supplied the other 4 items.




Just one book, from early September.








  • Good Omens, serial {watched 7th time}


Michael Sheen ~ Films & TV:

  1. Heartlands, directed by Damien O’Donnell
  2. Jesus Henry Christ, written & directed by Dennis Lee
  3. Laws of Attraction, directed by Peter Howitt
  4. Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2, directed by Bill Condon
  5. Masters of Sex, created by Michelle Ashford
    1. Pilot episode, with commentary
    2. Season 1
    3. episode 2.01
    4. Season 3
    5. Season 4


David Tennant ~ Films & TV:

  1. Spies of Warsaw, directed by Coky Giedroyć
  2. United, directed by James Strong
  3. Broadchurch, created & written by Chris Chibnall
    1. Season 1 [[I love when the place is a character; mind-bending]]
    2. Season 2 [[still very good, but … I’m satisfied to stop here]]



  1. [Poetry] This Is Not A Rescue by Emily Blewitt
  2. [TV] Rugged Wales, 1st episode (of 2), produced & directed by John Gwyn




Films & TV:

  1. Downton Abbey, directed by Michael Engler
  2. The Favourite, directed by Yorgos Lanthimos
  3. Finding Dory, directed by Andrew Stanton
  4. Now You See Me, directed by Louis Leterrier
  5. Spider-Man: Far From Home, directed by Jon Watts
  6. Star Trek, directed by J. J. Abrams
  7. Thor: Dark World, directed by Alan Taylor
  8. [TV] Blown Away [glass-blowing competition], season 1
  9. [TV] The Great British Baking Show, 2019 season
  10. [TV] Abstract: The Art of Design, season 2
    1. Olafur Eliasson, directed by Jason Zeldes
    2. Neri Oxman, directed by Morgan Neville
    3. Ruth Carter, directed by Claudia Woloshin
    4. Cas Holman, directed by Chai Vasarhelyi



Reading List 10a of 2019

October 18, 2019

Rest in Power, U.S. Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md. (1951 – 2019)




Covers the period from 9.7.2019 through 10.17.19




Unorthodox Reading List — no books!

Reason 1: My Positive Disintegration episode continues, now in its 5th month. I’ve usually not recognized it occurring so early in the process nor had it persist for long. It’s disruptive, emotionally difficult, and distracting.

Reason 2: Spouse and I have been moving house for almost a month. After 3 very intense weeks, I had to bow out, exhausted, while he’s still ferrying things around. Currently I’m in a s-l-o-w recovery, feeling like I’ve been poleaxed by pneumonia.

Reason 3 ~ most connected to Reading ~ I discovered AO3 [Archive of Our Own] — a fanfiction community — after they won a Hugo. With my limited bandwidth, I have been essentially living over there, mostly amongst Good Omens, ever since.

I’ve never previously had an opportunity to immerse myself so thoroughly into a shared fictional space.

I’ve now read > 1 million words about these characters* whom I’ve thought about every day for 6 weeks. I dream about them, over and over. I imagine my own scenarios. It’s kind of awesome.


*Mostly Aziraphale and Crowley, but also Crowley’s plants, Crowley’s Bentley, Aziraphale’s bookshop, Aziraphale’s flaming sword; Warlock Dowling & Adam Young; Beelzebub & Gabriel; the Disposable Demons; awesome OCs, such as “Aubrey Thyme, professional psychotherapist”; and others. Even one appearance by Loki!




AO3 ~ Good Omens:

Read all the way through … 143 works, by 117 authors  | best estimate ~ 1,362,548 words

  • 16 Favorites:
    1. antistar_e’s damn.nation, now available on itunes, completed, 11K
    2. Chellefic’s 5 Conversations Overheard in an English Village
    3. Darcylindbergh’s the bucket list, WIP, Chapters 1-6, 26K
    4. DictionaryWrites2’s Hug
    5. Kaz_Langston’s Sticks & Stones
    6. Laur’s Enemies Closer, WIP, Chapters 1-6, 24K
    7. lhale13 ’s Aziraphale’s British Bake-Off
    8. molieretzu’s Welcome to the Neighborhood ~~ “Eric, the Disposable Demon is just trying to get through the day…”
    9. Nnm’s Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach, Chapters 1-16, completed, 99K {read 5x}
    10. Nnm’s The Healer and the Lover series, WIP, Sections 1 & 2, 14K
    11. OrdinaryRealities’s To Teach a Sorrow to Speak, WIP, Chapters 1-7, 13K
    12. PeniG’s Akashic Records series, WIP, Sections 1-13, 91K {read 3x}
    13. PeniG’s Angel and Demon Teatime, completed, 11K
    14. PinkPenguinParade’s The Other Shoe
    15. QueanBysshe’s Eros
    16. teaDragon’s Must Love Earth, completed, Chapters 1-5, 22K



Reading List 9 of 2019

September 4, 2019

Covers the period from 8.18.2019 through 9.4.19


I own 6 of these items. I watched 6 items in the cinema/on Youtube/via streaming. Baltimore County Public Library system supplied 10 of the books and DVDs. Libraries outside of Baltimore County, via Inter-Library Loan, supplied the other 13 items.



RIP Janice Montgomery Johnson, 1936–2019, a favorite relation




Celtic & British literature:

  1. All fours by Nia Davies
  2. The Beginnings of Welsh Poetry by Ifor Williams [1972]
  3. Dylan Thomas’s Choice: An Anthology of Verse, edited by Ralph Maud and Aneirin Talfan Davies [1963]
  4. Grongar Hill by John Dyer, edited with introduction and notes by Richard C. Boys [1941]
  5. The North Star and Other Poems by Laurence Binyon [1941]
  6. The Poetical Works of Dafydd Nanmor, edited by the late Thomas Roberts, revised by Ifor Williams [1923] /// Analysis in English, but poetry entirely in Welsh, untranslated ///
  7. The Ring of Words: Tolkien and the Oxford English Dictionary by Peter Gilliver, et al.
  8. Robert Ross: Friend of Friends, edited by Margery Ross [1952]
  9. Sailing the Forest: Selected Poems by Robin Robertson {Scottish}
  10. The Year’s at the Spring [anthology], compiled by L. D’O. Walters [1920]
  11. [Lit Journal] Modern Poetry in Translation ~ Languages of the United Kingdom; No. 1, 2019


Films ~ Michael Sheen:

  1. The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box, directed by Jonathan Newman
  2. Brad’s Status, written & directed by Mike White // Ben Stiller’s MC was esp insufferable //
  3. Bright Young Things, directed by Stephen Fry
  4. The Damned United*, directed by Tom Hooper {2x – I needed the subtitles}
  5. Tron: Legacy, directed by Joseph Kosinski
  6. Wilde, directed by Brian Gilbert


* Pelé, Brazilian superstar, piqued my interest in soccer as a kid in the 1970s. So (unlike Brad’s Status), the subject matter was inherently interesting.  But this movie broke my heart, twice.    Michael Sheen utterly convinces as an intense partner/friend who can’t get out of his own way.





  1. Bend It Like Beckham, directed by Gurinder Chadha
  2. Blinded by the Light, directed by Gurinder Chadha
  3. Fast Color, directed & co-written by Julia Hart
  4. Mary and the Witch’s Flower, directed by Hiromasa Yonebayashi
  5. Ralph Breaks the Internet, directed by Phil Johnston and Rich Moore
  6. Tron, written & directed by Steven Lisberger
  7. Wreck-It Ralph, directed by Rich Moore




  1. Air Logic by Laurie J. Marks //long-awaited book 4 of Elemental Logic series//
  2. Breach of Containment by Elizabeth Bonesteel
  3. Cold Welcome by Elizabeth Moon
  4. Exile by Lisa M. Bradley



  1. Call Me When You Want to Talk About the Tombstones by Cynthia Hoffman
  2. My Lost Poets: A Life in Poetry by Philip Levine
  3. Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart: Poems by Alice Walker




  1. Remapping Your Mind: The Neuroscience of Self-Transformation through Story by Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D., Ph.D., with Barbara Mainguy, M.A. {Lewis is FN–Lakota | Maine}
  2. Set the Page on Fire: Secrets of Successful Writers by Steve O’Keefe
  3. Learning to Swim: A Novel by Sara J. Henry
  4. The Wives of Los Alamos: A Novel by TaraShea Nesbit



Dream: 8.28.19

August 28, 2019

I’m yearning towards massive mountains, a sparkling sea, both grey, obscured by rain, just across the way.

I’d been out on the spit earlier, taking photos, but that’s not close enough. I need to be there. (Not observing, not recording; being, with.)

I realize, abruptly, that I’m in a house, with other people. The wind outside is getting stronger. It suddenly seems imperative to close all the windows, firmly, which will somehow prevent the house from being lifted off its foundations, thrown around.

I have to be sensible, first. Take care of.

I can lose myself in glory … later.



The mountains looked like the ones at Turnagain Arm, in Alaska, but they felt like Australia. (Although not a place in Australia I recognized.)

The mountains were calling me, much louder than the sea? bay?

I was responding with every fiber of my being, but… I’m also human, and had to care-take, first. (While I could still think like a human.)

Not sure if it was death, or at least destruction, calling me just as much as the mountains, but I wasn’t afraid. I was ready. I was eager.



With this latest round of Positive Disintegration, I’m in free fall a lot of the time. I even told Spouse about it — something I would never normally do — because the discomfort, over weeks and weeks, is so difficult to bear some days.

(At least I know what’s happening, having been through the process 6? 7? times before.)

Do I keep writing poetry? Yes. The universe has been unequivocal about that one thing.

The dream seemed like it was about being =vallo=. Which does include poetry, as a way of remembering, making sense of, figuring out how to go forth.


19 more books, including one I bought in Toronto in 1994, heading to Minnesota. Divesting. Draining away.

What remains?

No sé.

3 dream fragments

August 19, 2019


I’m driving on a road, and notice a big river is coming up. Traffic on the bridge is stopped. “Railroad crossing” gates descend, so no one else on the road ahead of me gets on the bridge.

The bridge begins rising — it’s a drawbridge.

I’m switching my gaze between the yellow pickup truck that is sensibly parked at the gates, and the vehicles on the bridge … how are they adhering to the pavement?! Isn’t gravity going to pull them down?

When the drawbridge reaches its maximum height (something ludicrous like an 80 degree angle), the vehicles accelerate from a standing stop (!) and jump the gap (!!).

How do they not fall into the water below? How could they start? It’s bonkers, but they cross in orderly rows of lanes of traffic.

One “vehicle” I hadn’t noticed before, but I see it making the jump, is a commuter train … even weirder, it lands into a deep pool of water, on the opposite side of the bridge, and (like an eel) swims away?!?


8.18 A

There’s a big family gathering at my maternal grandmother’s house; unexpectedly, a bunch of my paternal cousins are there too: I see Jared on the stairs, going the other way; I fall into conversation with Maggie, a year my elder.

I tell her it’s surprisingly difficult to fill up all the free time I have had since I ‘retired’ in my 40s. Here I am, 10 years on, and still struggling.

I realize as I’m talking to her that much-younger Mea (who was often depressed) filled up excesses of time by sleeping, and reading. Having demanding jobs and an enmeshed family consumed the remainder, such that I didn’t even have time (or emotional energy) available to make art.

Now I have time, and sometimes I even have energy, but what’s the point?


8.18 B

I’m conversing with someone about a particular Marvel movie. This guy is disgruntled about how some object morphed into Yggdrasil, but no review he’s seen even mentions that. He’s annoyed Yggdrasil has been disrespected, again.

Me? I’m inwardly ecstatic that someone else recognizes Yggdrasil is, in fact, a character.




I’ve been aware for the last month or two that I’m in the midst of a major Positive Disintegration. It feels disruptive and prickly enough to rival the one I experienced when we moved to Maryland in 2008.

I’m guessing that I’ve finally processed and worked through all of that aftermath, but now my conscious mind is catching up to the fact that I have to assess what this phase of my life is about.


Good Omens has been helping me embrace inner selves of various genders. Instead of imagining from the outside what that might could be like, I’m embodying different identities (in small doses). Then reevaluating my past, and family history — not just my own.

I’m working on a new name for one of the personas.

I’m aggregating the new Welsh and British poetry knowledge into my trove of Celtic literature and languages.

I think maybe I have become a scholar after all.



Air and Water.


When I feel ready, I’ll be ready.

[Since I don’t feel ready with BMR, I’ll abstain this time.]


I’m choosing whom to spend my time with more wisely than before. I don’t want advice and I definitely don’t want a critique of my feelings. I want someone who listens, and lets me figure out for myself what’s important.



[Y’s been part of my personal pantheon since circa 1978. Long before I knew the word “pantheon”.]

Trees as characters.

Seen and unseen.



More 4’s.

Change is coming.


Reading List 8 of 2019

August 15, 2019

Covers the period from 7.20.2019 through 8.15.19


I own 10 of these items. I watched 5 items in the cinema/on Youtube/via streaming. Baltimore County Public Library system supplied 10 of the books and DVDs. Libraries outside of Baltimore County, via Inter-Library Loan, supplied the other 11 items.



Rest in Power, Toni Morrison (1931 – 5 Agosto 2019)






Welsh poets:

  1. Chaotic Angels: Poems in English by Gwyneth Lewis
  2. Collected Poems of Lynette Roberts, edited by Patrick McGuinness
  3. The Land of Wales by Eiluned Lewis and Peter Lewis [1937]
  4. Quantum Poetics by Gwyneth Lewis
  5. Selected Poems of Idris Davies [1953]


British poets:

  1. A Father of Women and Other Poems by Alice Meynell [1917]
  2. A Few Late Chrysanthemums by John Betjeman [1954]
  3. A Nip in the Air by John Betjeman [1974]
  4. The Atlantic Book of British and American Poetry, edited by Edith Sitwell [1958]
  5. The Columbia Anthology of British Poetry, edited by Carl Woodring and James Shapiro
  6. Edith Sitwell: A Unicorn Among Lions by Victoria Glendinning
  7. The Poems of Alice Meynell: Complete Edition [1940]
  8. The Ungirt Runner: Charles Hamilton Sorley, Poet of World War I by Thomas Burnett Swann {Scottish} [1965]


Good Omens:

  1. [TV] Good Omens, serial, directed by Douglas Mackinnon, written by Neil Gaiman (watched 5th and 6th times)
  2. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
  3. The Nice and Accurate Good Omens TV Companion by Matt Whyman
  4. The Quite Nice and Fairly Accurate Good Omens Script Book by Neil Gaiman


Films ~ Michael Sheen:

  1. Frost/Nixon, directed by Ron Howard
  2. Home Again, written & directed by Hallie Meyers-Shyer
  3. Laws of Attraction, directed by Peter Howitt




Poets from other places:

  1. A Map to the Next World by Joy Harjo {FN-Mvskoke | Oklahoma}
  2. The Darkness Around Us Is Deep by William Stafford {USA}
  3. The Four Questions of Melancholy: New & Selected Poems by Tomaž Šalamun {Slovenia}
  4. The True Subject: Writers on Life and Craft, edited by Kurt Brown {USA}
  5. Wade in the Water by Tracy K. Smith {USA}



  1. An Illusion of Thieves by Cate Glass
  2. Hostage by Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith
  3. Rebel by Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith
  4. Stranger by Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith



  1. A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer
  2. Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer



Films & TV:

  1. Dumplin’, directed by Anne Fletcher
  2. Time Bandits, directed by Terry Gilliam
  3. Moon Landing Live, on BBC America
  4. Derry Girls, season 2, written by Lisa McGee
  5. Sherlock, episode 3.04, directed by Douglas Mackinnon



Reading List 7 of 2019

July 19, 2019

Covers the period from 6.28.2019 through 7.18.19


I/we own 3 of these items. I watched 10 items in the cinema/on Youtube/via streaming. Baltimore County Public Library system supplied 5 of the books and DVDs. Libraries outside of Baltimore County, via Inter-Library Loan, supplied the other 3 items.



Films & TV:

  1. Can You Ever Forgive Me?, directed by Marielle Heller
  2. Chopsticks, written & directed by Sachin Yardi {Hindi – India}
  3. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, directed by Chris Columbus
  4. Late Night, directed by Nisha Ganatra, written by Mindy Kaling
  5. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, directed by Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman
  6. Toy Story 4, directed by Josh Cooley
  7. Sherlock, season 1 & 2/3 of season 2, created by Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat
  8. Stranger Things, 1/3 of season 3, created by the Duffer Brothers




  1. Baroque Dance: Gavotte a 4, by La Belle Danse
  2. Gavotte dâ Honneur, by Roy Butler
  3. Good Omens*, serial, directed by Douglas Mackinnon, written by Neil Gaiman (watched 3 more times)


*Good Omens flavoured my whole month: the Aziraphale & Crowley OTP — quite unexpectedly — sparked complex feelings and memories => insights and revelations.

Michael Sheen & David Tennant are awesome.

(Also loved new-to-me Adria Arjona.)


Now that fanfiction memes are all over my IG feed… I’m also Team Black Hermione, Drarry, Luna & Neville; Johnlock; Beelzebub & Gabriel.



Celtic Poetry:

  1. Anglo-Welsh Poetry, 1480–1990, edited by Raymond Garlick & Roland Mathias
  2. The Literature of the Kymry by Thomas Stephens [1849!]
  3. Walking the White Fields: Poems, 1967–1980 by Leslie Norris
  4. [Video] Gwyneth Lewis on the role of the subconscious in writing
  5. [Video] Learn Welsh for Beginners: Lesson 1
  6. Wain: LGBT Reimaginings of Scottish Folklore; poems by Rachel Plummer, illustrations by Helene Boppert





  1. bone by Yrsa Daley-Ward
  2. Evidence by Mary Oliver



  1. Call It What You Want by Brigid Kemmerer
  2. I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver //nonbinary MC; nonbinary author//