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Dream fragments

January 8, 2017


All I recall is a bunch of leaves from different plants (no pots, just the leaves), filling up about a 2 foot sphere, against a background of white walls. The only type of plant I recognized was Oxalis; there was something I couldn’t identify that had curly tendrils.

A marigold that had budded, when I looked the next day was in flower: solid bright orange. (Which was puzzling as I was pretty sure the flowers were supposed to be variegated yellow and brick red.)



A male relative of Spouse’s, that I’d hit it off with on previous visit out West (where he lived), contacted Spouse to say that his mother, “Mildred Pierce”, had died at age 102. Gave funeral arrangements.

I remarked to Spouse that I knew “Mildred Pierce” was a movie with Bette Davis, but I’d never seen it.

Spouse and I discussed attending the funeral, despite the geographical distance. Spouse didn’t have any particular interest, since he hadn’t known MP or her scion. I said that I’d attended funerals in my youth out of curiosity (where I hadn’t known the person myself, but my father did), and they were uncomfortable because my emotions mismatched everyone else’s emotions. That it felt an extra degree of prickly because it was unseemly for me not to feel the grief everyone else felt. So we decided not to go.

A conversation with my FIL.

I was in a back bedroom of my in-law’s house, with my MIL. She was speaking from a far corner of the room, in front of empty built-in bookshelves. I was on a bed by the door, and wanted to stand up, but my back hurt too much. I said something to my MIL, who laughed, and did not move to help me. So I dropped to the floor, crawled over to the door, and tried to straighten my back from that vantage.            Later, my MIL talked about how “this is the only house we will ever have”, which seemed to be a contrast with the male relative out West. With his mother/aunt’s death, he was going to inherit her extensive properties.

Some weird behavior when I flushed the toilet made me think the pipes might be frozen.




{It was Joan Crawford in the movie “Mildred Pierce”, not Bette Davis.}

Even in the dream, I wasn’t clear on how the male relative was connected to “Mildred Pierce”: son, nephew, grand-nephew, cousin?

The “out West” part seems significant, but it wasn’t New Mexico or even Arizona. It might have been Texas.

The house that belonged to my in-laws in the dream had the same layout as my Uncle Ed’s house. All the walls were newly white.



Last week, while grocery shopping, was the first time I saw indoor plants and thought, “I want a big plant in a pot”; later at home, looked around to see where I might put a potted plant.

I have a marigold plant right now, but it’s just one shoot, with 2 small leaves. The one I grew from seeds last year never did flower. (But the leaves were really pretty, and I took lots of photos.)

Lots of white walls, and empty shelves, seems significant. A marker of things being in flux.

With as cold as it’s been (20 F for the past few days, unseasonal), my muscles do stay even tenser than usual, so my movements are less fluid than when it’s warmer. I’ve never been unable to get out of bed before though.

It’s strange enough to have a dream my FIL appears in, but both my MIL and FIL is unprecedented. I don’t know what to make of it.

Nor am I close to any of Spouse’s other relatives (despite multiple efforts on my part). The part of the dream with the male relative and his inheritance feels significant somehow, but I can’t figure out why.

Orange is a powerful color for me lately.


Sometimes when I get too much sleep, my dreams right before waking are a confused jumble of elements that don’t hang together. That might be what these were.


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