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Revisiting The Artist’s Way, 2013 edition

January 23, 2016

On 2.11.2013, I wrote:

Imaginary Lives, week 1:

  • circus performer
  • poet (in Spanish)
  • xenodiplomat
  • pastry chef
  • plant doctor

Imaginary Lives, week 2:

  • geologist
  • conceptual stylist for photo sessions
  • inventor
  • interior designer
  • florist

= = =

Since then, I’ve dreamed in Spanish, I’ve written a bilingual poem, and I’ve collected several books on poems in both Spanish and English.

I’m still figuring out ‘xenodiplomat’, but just today I read something that reminded me that’s a thing I yearn to do.

Whenever I eat tasty food these days, I’m thinking about flavor combinations. (Still not cooking, yet, but it’s too soon.)

Ever since we moved into the new apartment a year plus ago, I’ve been decorating it.

+++

On 2.11.13, I also wrote:

Week 2, Sense of Identity

10 Tiny Changes:

I would like to . . .

  1. hang up artwork in my studio
  2. finish going through my closet & figuring out what needs to go
  3. [silent retreat]
  4. do Feldenkrais (to learn how to really live in this body)
  5. dance
  6. finish trimming jade skirt, so I can wear it
  7. repair rust-brown linen shell, so I can wear it again
  8. make a yellow garment, and wear it
  9. get muscle car stamps and send mail to myself
  10. get to know Baltimore

= = =

In 2016, I’m doing #1 and #2. I don’t recall what #3 was about. I’m still trying to figure out #4 and #5. I did #9a, and #9b is an ongoing project that is wonderful.

I’ve been realizing lately that… my natural rhythms of activity, creative and otherwise, are v-e-r-y   s-l-o-w. If other people are rushing streams, I’m a glacier. But maybe that’s my autism? I’m taking in so much more data (than NT people), and it all has to be processed/interpreted/digested. And only much later do I start figuring out what use I could put any of it to.

+++

I think I’m still processing stuff that happened at AROHO/Ghost Ranch, also in 2013.

Other people are faster, but I have lots more complexity. (I think.)

+++

On 2.20.13, I wrote:

Week 3, Sense of Power

Detective work:

Favorite childhood toy? Miniature house interiors I created out of Kleenex boxes, then furnished and decorated. (They were not for dolls to play in.)

Favorite childhood game? Scrabble with my grandmother; also fun when my older cousins played too.

Best movie as a kid? Escape to Witch Mountain. The Man Who Would Be King. Time Bandits.

I don’t do it much but I enjoy . . . drawing. Doodling.

If I could lighten up a little, I let myself . . . make a party dress, designed by my inner 6 year old, for my 46 year old body. Something pretty and fun, the way little girls’ dresses are.

If it weren’t too late, I’d . . . learn to use the roller blades in my closet.

Favorite musical instrument? Accordion. Xylophone.

Amount of money to treat myself to entertainment per month? Probably close to $0.

What should I buy my inner artist? That set of picks, from Ace Hardware.

Taking time out for myself is . . . still hard.

I’m afraid that if I start dreaming . . . I’ll just be disappointed, if not heartbroken, when nothing works out.

Secretly enjoy reading? SFF for teens.

If I’d had a perfect childhood, I’d have grown up to be . . . an inventor, and eccentric but beloved genius.

My parents think artists are  . . . dead. All men. Unstable and unpleasant and quitters.

What makes me feel weird about this recovery is . . . I’m hoping the fifth time through The Artist’s Way process is the charm. But sorry I’ve needed 17 years of prep work to get this far.

Learning to trust myself is probably . . . the most important thing I could be doing.

Most cheer me up music? Disco. Sprightly love songs from country and pop. Stuff I can dance to. Examples: The Long Way Around by the Dixie Chicks. Nothin’ ‘Bout Love Makes Sense by LeAnn Rimes. I Melt With You by Modern English. And We Danced by the Hooters. Call Me Maybe by Carly Jepsen. KC & the Sunshine Band; the Bee Gees; the Pointer Sisters.

My favorite way to dress? Long skirts to twirl in; mismatched patterns; colorful.

= = =

In October 2014, I bought a book about making A-line dresses for little girls. I’m still not ready to make a dress for my 49-year old body, but I believe I will get there.

I’ve moved the roller blades so that I can get to them quicker. Haven’t used them yet.

I don’t have a monthly entertainment budget per se, but I do have a dedicated fund to take myself to see movies at the cinema.

I bought the set of picks, and I have used them for various things.

Since late December, I’ve been working on spending time in my studio. Not creating, usually, just… spending time in it. Looking around, thinking, daydreaming. I’m working on getting comfortable with myself as a creative person again. I’m decorating! This is the best incarnation of a studio I’ve ever had. I started having studios in… 1995, iirc. So it’s taken me 20 years of tinkering to get something that really works.

I’m no longer ‘sorry’ it took me 5 tries and 17 years to complete TAW process. I now realize that is my process.

I wear mismatched patterns all the time now. Yesterday I combined 2 different sets of horizontal stripes and plaid. It was glorious.

+++

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