Dream elements: 11.24.15
I’m at the ocean. I’m wading in the surf. A big wave comes in and I float on my back towards the shore.
Emotions: joy, happiness, ecstatic. Feeling relaxed and at peace.
Hanging above my head is a kind of sheath of white spidersilk, enveloping a spider about the size of my hand, of a type I don’t recognize. The spider’s legs are folded up where I can’t see them; its body is mostly transparent, but brown at the edges. Light streams through it, or maybe it has an inner glow. The spider seems to be dreaming.
I’m photographing colorful things outside. Sunset. The beach.
I haven’t dreamed about a large body of water in a while. This ocean setting was not one that I’ve personally experienced. There might have been other people on the beach, but I didn’t see them. It was just me and the water and the sky, and that was enough.
Sheath-like enclosure could have been inspired by woven structures I’ve been reading about, like fiber artist Magadalena Abakanowicz’s vulviform ‘abakans’.
I think the spider itself was kind of an ur-spider, which makes me think of Grandmother Spider, who is one of my archetypes (that I haven’t thought of in a long time).
The spider’s pose also resembles a fetus in utero.
Grandmother Spider, dreaming, suggests… New possibilities are gestating?
I told Spouse recently that being a photographer is now part of my primary identity. It’s not just an activity that I do, it’s… (part of) how I see the world. I’m constantly noticing compelling ‘frames’ to things around me. I’ve been photographing for 30+ years, but now I take pictures every day.
‘Colorful’ is not just visibly appealing, but denotes my emotions (because synesthesia).
So I’m noticing my emotions, identifying them, but also… showcasing them by how I address them. Also, photographs (or writing) allow me to share them with others.
Embracing what I encounter, when it’s congenial and appealing, is a good approach right now. I don’t need to ‘strive’ or push myself to meet other people’s standards. Joy will find me, if I’m open to it.
Things are happening below the surface, in their own good time. There’s no urgency — if I need time to figure things out, I have it.
I’m relaxing into being myself, and learning what it means to value whatever is compelling enough to (want to) hold onto. My unconscious judgment is sound; let’s learn what it wants to teach us. I only need to please my selves.