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Dream(s): 1.18.15

January 19, 2015

{Happy Birthday, Craig S1!}

It wasn’t clear to me if there were 2 dreams, intertwined, or just 1 very odd dream.

+++

I’m living in the same apartment with a man who has been paralyzed in some kind of accident. {I don’t know what our relationship was. Friends with benefits, maybe.} A physical therapist arrives at our place, a young man. He hasn’t seen his patient/my roommate in a while, so he wants to see if there’s been any improvement. My friend is able to do a few things involved with getting out of bed, but it also becomes immediately apparent that we have too many blankets. My friend is getting tangled up in them, then stuck, when he tries to get up. The physical therapist recommends we switched to using just one or two blankets.

We have some in another room, which I go to retrieve. One of them is a light purple color, and sort of shaggy. I think the other one was white, with widely separated dark blue stripes.

===

Later, I’m out running errands. I wander into a pet store, where I talk to a male clerk about getting some hamsters, for furry company. I say, “I had pets as a child, but my spouse didn’t, so we will have to go slow. Can I do a trial period?” The clerk agrees to a trial period of two weeks. He starts gathering a packet of stuff for me, along with 2 tawny-colored hamsters. I’m somehow called away before he finishes, and I do not take anything home with me.

===

I’m back at the apartment. I sit down on a chair, perpendicular to the couch. I’m wondering how to explain that I’ve kind of gotten things started to add hamsters to our household. I look up, and my friend is snuggled on the couch. A cat, then a dog, come into the room and jump onto the couch with him. On his far side, I suddenly notice a very large wire cage, that contains a very large rabbit. I think to myself, “Maybe the hamsters are a bad idea. We already have all these pets! But I need furry friends that like me and prefer my company. What do I do next?”

===

There is some kind of commotion, at the end of which we have two small furry critters in our house. Not pets — wild animals. Neither of them were animals I had ever seen before. The first one might have looked sort of like a rock squirrel, but with a really bushy tail; it was red fox colored. It was also feisty. Spouse brought over to me a tumbler glass to catch it in {something we do with spiders and bugs}; because of its tail, it barely fit.

I walked it outside, where our backyard was on a hill. It was a sunny day. I knelt down, took my hand away from the glass mouth, and let the critter go. It scampered away, and was lost to view in the long grass.

The second critter was smaller. It was black and white, and it didn’t look like any animal I’ve ever seen. Maybe it had gotten into a tussle with one of the pets, because it was curled into a ball, possibly injured, and looked frightened. I was worried about it, but Spouse was just annoyed.

I coaxed it into a glass jar. Spouse cautioned me about not getting my hand too close to its teeth, which suddenly looked very large (rodentlike, though, not dangerous). In the cage we’d stashed it in, there was some kind of red fruit (that also didn’t look like anything familiar). I thought I’d put the fruit in the jar, to keep the critter company. As I moved the fruit, black ants crawled out of it. I feared they would escape the jar (?), which I didn’t have a lid for. To deal with the ants, I impulsively filled the jar halfway with soapy water — ants don’t like water! They’ll have to swim.

It’s only as I’m walking to the door that I realize that I didn’t warn the critter I was going to do anything with water, so it probably didn’t hold its breath. Which means it might drown! I try to move a lot faster, to get out to the garden quicker. The hallway I’m in is suddenly murky and hard to find my way to the door.

I arrive at the same place I let out the other critter. I kneel down and pour out the jar. There’s a rush of water. The critter tumbles out, backwards, so it’s looking at me. More water pours out, in a wave. I feel like I have no control over the water. The critter is submerged by this wave. It doesn’t move. It doesn’t shake itself off, or walk or slink away. It huddles limply on the grass. Maybe it’s dead. Maybe it’s my fault. What on earth was I thinking with that stupid water?!? I’m distressed, on the verge of tears.

I wake up.

+++

My friend in the first part, and Spouse, looked different, and I felt I had different relationships with each of them. The first setting was an apartment; the second setting was a house. And yet, somehow, they were sort of the same Other Person. It’s very confusing.

If my friend was actually paralyzed from the neck down, he wouldn’t have been able to do any of the stuff I saw him do, with the physical therapist.

I have never seen a purple shaggy blanket.

I just don’t understand anything about that dream segment.

===

It’s true that I grew up with pets as a child, and Spouse didn’t. It’s also true that I’ve been thinking it might be time to get a houseplant again. After more than two years without houseplants, I think I would be happier with some green leafy companionship. I had actually thought that maybe I should have a conversation with Spouse first; I’m not sure why, now, I felt like I would need to.

Spouse has never had a pet at all. He would never ever have a dog. I think a giant rabbit is unlikely. I could maybe see a cat. But all 3 at once?

===

We had hamsters when I was a kid. I liked them, liked watching them, but they didn’t like to be played with. If I was going to get a rodent for a pet, I think I’d like a guinea pig.

In the dream, I never even looked at the hamsters; the clerk picked them out for me. I would never do that.

===

This last part was so upsetting — I’m practically in tears thinking about it. I don’t have any idea what to make of it.

I like ants! Why was I trying to drown them?

None of it makes any sense.

+++

Usually I love analyzing my dreams. But this one is . . . kind of awful and dispiriting.

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