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n meme: dare!

May 25, 2013

Yesterday I read Havi Brooks’ e-book, Processing the Process (which was amazing and rocked my world!). Today I was inspired to try something different in lieu of morning pages: I wrote out a dialogue between (current) me and incoming me.

I decided to start by asking a question about an issue that’s been nagging at me for years.

(If I had strategically chosen a question, it wouldn’t have been this one. My conscious mind would have dismissed this one as being trivial, inconsequential, and . . . kind of ridiculous. So it’s a good thing I didn’t ask my conscious mind for its opinion.)


ME: I have a lot of clothes. Some of them are consciously stressing me, but others are probably unconsciously stressing me too. What sorts of clothes will I not need to be you?

INCOMING ME: Anything we don’t feel ‘sovereign in. Anything that reminds us, “Last time I wore this was for the high school reunion where no one remembered me / the job interview I was so excited about . . . but I didn’t get the job, etc”.

Also, we’re not going to be skinny again. Clothes that remind us that other people “liked” us better when we were skinny . . . are not useful.

What do we feel good in now?

Everything else should go.

And if everything else really does go, then there will be room for creating new things. From “scratch”, as it were. Which, given how we have always wanted to be a garment designer, seems like a necessary step you’ve been avoiding.


ME: Maybe the rust-and-tangerine tank dress (that I first wore to a school reunion 13 years ago, while I was on crutches) also needs to go?

INCOMING ME: Yes. Also the wedding dress.

Anything you might have worn to impress (or hope to impress) other people, while playing a part.

This is going to be scary in some cases. This is exactly what the Fashion Freedom people said not to do. But in our heart of hearts, we’ve known all along that someday we would have to do this very thing. We avoided it, even as we longed to do it, but now? That day is here.

ME: Won’t I look freakish and weird if most of my clothes are things I made myself, when I don’t know what I’m doing?


  • How else do we learn, except by doing?
  • How much more time you want to spend pretending you’re someone you’re not?
  • Maybe homemade clothes will be a filter — like the green and purple hair you had in 2007 turned out to be — to find (fellow interesting creative) people to connect with.
  • Sovereignty comes from being yourself.
  • How can we get to avant-garde if we won’t let go of what’s familiar and tired?

ME: I’m scared, of all these changes. Of being “naked” to the world. Of all the risk.


  1. You can back away from the cliff.
  2. You can roll down the cliff. (soft landing)
  3. You can jump off the cliff.                               OR
  4. You can leap into the air and fly.

Aren’t we more than ready for #4? Don’t we hunger to find out what’s possible when we no longer can expect anything familiar?

Think of us as a crab that’s been using a found shell as shelter/protection. One day, the crab leaves that shell on the beach. Eventually the crab grows its own shell . . . which is beautiful and amazing and unlike anyone else’s shell. And then that crab wonders, “why did I wait so long?”

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