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a day like today

April 11, 2012

A week ago, I could hardly wait for today to arrive, because it’s the 10th anniversary of a life-changing realization, and I was going to write a big post about it. But now that it’s here, I’m in a different head-space, where it doesn’t seem as important to write about it right now. Maybe it will at some other time.

Probably my epiphany wouldn’t sound like much to people who have led different-from-me lives anyway. But for me, it was huge, and Changed Everything.

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I’m continuing to work through my pile of Michael Pollan’s books. Yesterday I finished The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and I’m seeing interesting connections everywhere. I have even had two conversations with Spouse about it, including the ideas and metaphors I’m now ruminating about.

I just finished William Easterly’s The White Man’s Burden: Why the West’s Efforts to Aid the Rest Have Done So Much Ill and So Little Good. It started off so strong, and I was thinking, ‘an economist who is insightful! Yay!!’ and then he started talking about how “free markets solve all problems everywhere”, and then I was sad again.

I am currently reading something I am enjoying very much: Ira Berlin’s The Making of African America: The Four Great Migrations. This one was staring at me in the library book pile for 2 weeks because I thought it would be scholarly and hard to digest, but it isn’t. It’s very readable, and yet dense with ideas and information and insights.

A few days ago, I read the first book in the Hunger Games trilogy, and found it kind of meh, but I have put myself on the list for books #2 and 3 at our library. Since it took me 6 weeks to get #1, and there are 241 people ahead of me on #2, and 107 people ahead of me on #3, it’ll be a while before I find out what happens.

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Thanks to a blog post by artist Luann Udell, I’ve now become acquainted with the idea of “polychronic” time. Just another way I’m out of step with my culture.

Although I’m actually really motivated to not keep people waiting/be on time, but that’s largely because I grew up in a family where several people were always, horribly, late. And the more anybody tried to hurry them up, or pointed out how inconsiderate they were being to everyone else, the later they got, on purpose. Like, hours late. So on this one issue, I tend to show up as early as possible, just to make absolutely-positively-sure I won’t have to make anyone wait for me. (And if, after all that, I actually am late? I’m mortified.) Spouse, on the other hand, is totally a monochronic person (so he fits perfectly into our culture), but for whatever reason, he’s not particularly concerned about being on time. When we do social things with other people, I’m usually waiting impatiently by the door 10 minutes before we should leave, and am stressing during the drive because we left later than we should have, while he is relaxed. A weird bit of turnabout.

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A week ago, I was enjoying the unseasonably-warm weather (60s & 70s) somewhat while also worrying that summer was starting in April, and thinking ahead to when I could put my potager plants back out on the balcony. This week, it has been downright cold and windy, sometimes rainy. Good thing I kept the plants inside, as tonight it’s supposed to get down to 39 degrees. My studio is the coldest room in the apartment, and as I sit here, I’ve got a sweater on, and a fleece hoodie over that, and am still chilly.

In creative problem-solving, I would like to find some kind of garment (that I could make) that would replace a sweater for warmth. It won’t be a sweater, because I don’t have the patience or the skills to knit or otherwise make a sweater. So I probably need to do layers of some sort.

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Last week’s three editions of ‘Writing to Heal’ were so helpful that I am now wondering if I’ll even need to do any more. I wasn’t expecting that. This healing process has gone on (dragged on, it feels like) for so long, I thought I would have to do a whole set.

I feel sort of emotionally resolved about some things. I feel like they’re finally over.

My nightmares have disappeared, and last night I had a lovely (but inexplicable) dream that had family-member characters in it. We were all getting along! (That rarely happens.)

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I went to the dentist yesterday because I felt something ‘off’ with one tooth. There’s nothing obvious with it, although I may have chipped a bit off the crown. Also, there’s a crown on the tooth below that one, and my bite is already weird because I have TMJ TMD, so I may have bit down too hard on something, and bruised the nerve? Something like that. No more almonds!

But a different tooth, that was ‘under observation’, has definitely turned into a cavity. So I’ll be getting that taken care of in 2 weeks. The good news is that I’ve been so diligent about brushing and flossing for the last few years that this is the first cavity I’ve had in quite a while. (The bad news, of course, is the shot. Not looking forward to that at all, nor the nausea, and being unable to feel my face for half the day.)

I’m eating less food with refined sugar and sweeteners in it too.

Seeing the specialist next week. Which reminds me – paperwork.

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As of today, Spouse and I have lived 20% of our marriage in Maryland.

As of tomorrow, I will have been married to Spouse for 42% of my life.

Yay, numbers!

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Thank you, DB, wherever you are. This good life I have now wouldn’t have been possible without you.

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