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On this date…

October 5, 2011

Fifteen years ago, one of my cousins got married. And they are still married. Twenty years ago, my sister got married. But she’s been divorced for over a year.

I attended both weddings. The best part of my sister’s wedding for me was spending time with a mutual friend of ours. Unfortunately for me, he had a girlfriend, who was a guest at the wedding, but since he and I were both in the wedding party, we got a couple dances together. (He and his girlfriend did marry, have three children, and divorce acrimoniously some years ago.)

The cousin’s wedding I remember chiefly because a different cousin, that I had been friends with for several years, picked that occasion to publicly stop being my friend, for no reason I could discern. This was especially awkward because we were seated at the same table at the reception. She convinced everyone else at the table to also ignore me. Luckily I was there with Spouse, so we could talk to each other. We left early.

And ex-friend I used to work with will celebrate his sixth wedding anniversary in two days. All the time I knew him, he insisted on his right to stay an emotional child, because marriage-and-a-kid were going to be the catalyst for adulthood. I often wondered if his fiancé resented having to be the grown up for the two of them. I don’t think I ever even met her. She seemed to be jealous of all the female attention he got, but a lot of that was because he was little and cute like a puppy. Yes, he was a big flirt, but you couldn’t take him seriously: he was way too full of himself. (They do have a child, who I think is about 4.)

Six years ago, Spouse and I were getting ready for our second trip to Sydney, Australia, and our first trip to New Zealand. The time of year was slightly earlier than our first trip, which proved to be just enough so that instead of the balminess of late spring, the weather was mostly chilly and windy in Sydney, and positively cold in NZ. The entire week we were in New Zealand, I wore the one wool sweater I’d brought every single day, and I even slept in it. I was freezing the entire time. But that was definitely one of our best trips. I would love to go back.

A week from now, 25 years ago, I realized I was a Pagan. Committing to that identity has made more difference to my quality of life than any other decision. But all of that was ahead of me then. I remember talking to my boyfriend at the time a few weeks later. He was sure I was just rebelling against my parents, and that in a few years I’d be a good Catholic again, barely remembering this interlude. I knew he was wrong; that I’d found myself, not lost it. (I wonder what he’d think of my life now. I’m older than he ever got to be: he died over 10 years ago.)

Today looks sunny but brisk. I have errands to run that mostly involve picking up books. I’m thinking ahead to Nanowrimo, and at some point, publishing my work.

I like the transitional nature of October, finishing up the heat and languor of summer and preparing for the cold and dreamy hibernation of winter. But first, autumn foliage! My favorite colors of the year. Time to get going.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Amaryllis permalink
    October 7, 2011 09:18

    May I leave you an October-ish poem?

    Besides the Autumn poets sing
    A few prosaic days
    A little this side of the snow
    And that side of the Haze—

    A few incisive Mornings—
    A few Ascetic Eves—
    Gone—Mr. Bryant’s “Golden Rod”—
    And Mr. Thomson’s “sheaves.”

    Still, is the bustle in the Brook—
    Sealed are the spicy valves—
    Mesmeric fingers softly touch
    The Eyes of many Elves—

    Perhaps a squirrel may remain—
    My sentiments to share—
    Grant me, Oh Lord, a sunny mind—
    Thy windy will to bear!

    -Emily Dickinson

    • October 7, 2011 12:57

      Poetry improves everything. Thank you, Amaryllis, for always having an apt poem to hand. 🙂

  2. Amaryllis permalink
    October 7, 2011 16:42

    You’re welcome. Sometimes the urge to quote just gets the better of me.

    But I particularly like this poem for the picture of those clear autumn days in between the hazy heat of summer and the mists of snow– and especially for the squirrel, facing the winter with a cheerful attitude.

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