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aries unfettered

March 29, 2011

The end of January and all of February were consumed by my work on ATA‘s STI2: Passages catalog.  For most of this month, I have been consumed by a different ATA project: writing an article about a committee of volunteers, which will appear in the summer issue of their newsletter.

I keep telling myself that I really need to work on balance, but I’m clearly not there yet. How I imagine balance is being able to (more or less) easily switch between projects, on a given day and certainly in any given week. Instead I tend to hyperfocus on one project, getting more and more tunnel vision as its deadline approaches. Even when I’m not working on that project, I’m worrying about it, and wondering if I will be able to finish it. So the project never really leaves my mind. That’s what I think needs to change.

I haven’t had an active month of Aries, in the psychological alchemy sense, since 2008, but I’m in one now. And I am enjoying it hugely, despite its roller coaster-like feel.

I think it was about five years ago when I started realizing that I wanted to be a writer, but I had less than no idea how that could come about. Now I am a writer, and my next goal is to get paid for writing. And that no longer seems impossibly distant or unlikely.

I’m whittling away the last vestiges of my unhappy past, choosing what I want for the future, and striding boldly into the present moment. I am making new choices, and experimenting with novel answers to old questions. I have found an oar, and I am steering at last!

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