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November 15, 2010

I knew that I had internal resistance to the idea of nurturing myself, but I’ve been a little disconcerted by just how much. During this past week, as I’ve contemplated concrete ways to nourish myself, I’ve felt not just self-indulgent but almost depraved. I have layers and layers of resistance that I’ve been trying to work through so I can start better habits.

I do find that when my mind is relaxed, tangible ideas about nurturing bubble up. I’ve been writing them down so I don’t forget about them.

I spent Friday doing exactly what I liked, without allowing myself to get caught up in “things I should do”. I spent the entire day exactly how I pleased. It felt revolutionary, subversive, decadent. I will definitely have to do that more often.

I just haven’t had much practice (and rarely any encouragement) in figuring out things that I like. But I intend to keep plugging away at it, if only out of curiosity.

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