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time for tea

October 20, 2010

Five years ago, I’d taken a step to radically alter my relationship with my family of origin. It had become clear, after months of agonizing, that to truly love myself I had to walk away. I had to create my destiny as an individual, rather than as a member of that family.

Almost exactly 5 years ago today, Spouse and I were vacationing in Auckland, New Zealand. And I had a very significant dream, one that has remained with me.

In the dream, my (long-dead) grandfather appeared, and showed me my teapot with its lid. And he explicitly said something about the teapot being restored.

I was confused about the meaning of the dream, and it took me weeks to puzzle it out. I eventually determined that the dream was a promise that one day I myself would be healed: the parts of me that had been fragmented, lost, or (I feared) destroyed, would be repaired, relocated, and restored. One day, I would be whole, healthy, and happy.

I should mention that the teapot in the dream was a real teapot. It was made to resemble a bunch of grapes. It was my mother’s when I was a child, and I was very fond of it. When I was maybe a teenager, the lid was dropped, and broke. My mother intended to throw the whole thing out, because what good is a teapot without a lid?, but I begged to keep it. And I still have it. For many years, I used it as a vase for silk flowers. Only recently did I start using it again as a teapot. I used a folded towel for the lid. I wondered if I could have someone make a new lid, but I had no idea where to start looking.

Eleven days ago, Spouse and I were visiting Ellicott City. I was idly windowshopping, when I spotted my teapot, with a lid. I entered the antique store, and had someone fetch it from the window so I could examine it more closely. It turned out to be exactly the same teapot as the one I had. So I bought it.

My old teapot has been restored, with a new lid. And I can’t help but feel that I myself am on the verge of becoming healed as well.

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