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thoughts grab bag

April 7, 2010

I would’ve liked to see Butler upset Duke in the NCAA Finals game. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, and I could practically taste victory … but it didn’t happen.

I really don’t tolerate extreme heat (especially in April!) well. My ancestors (grandparents on one side, and great-grandparents on the other) came from countries in Northern Europe where if the temperature got up to 70 Fahrenheit, in the summer time, that was hot. Yesterday it was 88 F; today it’s supposed to be 90 F. Even with AC, that’s way too hot for me. And there’ll be many more months of it than there was in Chicago or Indianapolis. Ugh.

I had a dream a few weeks ago where the only thing I remember is a mention of shamans and “shamanology” (whatever that is). Then, a few days ago, I was reading Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck, and she talks about (among other things) her belief that our society is sort of overrun by potential shamans (since modern medicine and counseling and good nutrition mean they don’t die young like they might have in past history), which reassured me in an odd way that thinking I might have shamanic/healer aptitudes might not be the height of arrogance. Except that I can’t figure out quite what they might be. I’ve read up on shamans on Wikipedia for general knowledge, but I don’t see myself battling spirits in another plane, or whatever a modern equivalent might be. I have zero desire to enter a traditional “helping” profession — I’ve always been sure that doing so would lead to “burn out” almost immediately, as I have a tendency to get too emotionally involved with people having difficulties.

So right now, I’m concentrating on healing myself, as best as I can figure out what that entails. I figure I can’t do anyone else a lot of good if I’m depleted and under-nourished anyway. Besides that, it’s scary and challenging to consider how to put myself first. But I think, long overdue.

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