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walls and cages

January 3, 2010

Spouse and I visited the National Building Museum in Washington DC yesterday. We were both charmed, spending most of the day there, when we’d originally planned for an hour or two. I got some good photographs, some of which are on Flickr.

We each found some books to add to our libraries. I’m halfway through The Not So Big Life by Sarah Susanka, which has begun a cascade of epiphanies that I’m still sorting through. I stopped halfway last night when my brain hit Overload, and I’m not sure I’ll have recovered enough by tonight to continue onward.

The book made me realize that I’ve internalized limits and boundaries that have functioned, essentially, as cages, if not dungeons. I’ve boxed myself in, and then wondered why I keep finding myself in situations where nothing much is expected of me. Or where too much of the wrong sort of thing is expected, and I can’t deliver any of it. Where I yearn to try my mettle on challenges that no one else cares about.

I’m still afraid all the time, but I’m not sure what of. Partly, I think, whatever I am underneath, that’s been hidden away all this time, kept out of the light of day.

I’m hoping the book’s exercises on remodeling one’s life will help me unearth some of my issues, so I can work through them more thoroughly.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 4, 2010 14:57

    How nice to have come across your blog. Two synchronicities – Sarah is working with the National Building Museum on an upcoming exhibit they plan on the American home, and of course, is the author of the book you are now reading.

    We’d like to invite you to visit the online resource website for The Not So Big Life, and to perhaps join us in the Community Forums discussions. There are some helpful introductions to each chapter’s content and exercises (click on the chapter tabs on the Home Page), and wonderful fellow readers who are in the process of engaging the questions that you are now expressing. In particular, since you mention you’ve read ‘halfway’, check out the numerous topic threads in the Chapter Four – Mechanism discussions and you’ll find many kindred spirits.

    Please be in touch if there is anything we can help you with on your journey through the materials.

    Barbara
    Susanka Studios

  2. January 4, 2010 14:58

    Oops – forgot the link. It’s http://www.notsobiglife.com.

    Barb

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